10th of July
I used to be the first one who wished him
I used to prepared his birthday gift few months before
I used to celebrated our birthday together with another friend
last time
This year
I'm not going to do that
by using lots of energy to doing these
was tried to forget about
today is already 10th July
but... OF COURSE it's failed
that's why am I still awake at this time (7 in the morning)
too much things were reminding me
8th of July midnight
was emo... went to Lakeside with 2 friends
a big gang peoples were trying to make friend with me
I'm sorry that I was really not in "good condition"
accidentally.. don't know why and how
they sang Birthday song without any reason
...............................
when the time they went for supper
I chose to stayed there alone
was crying badly... phoned with someone
felt better after that
9th of July night
planned long time ago to find something to do at this night
so... went to an event.. "Kampar Got Talent"
was very smooth actually
but then
all of a sudden... don't know why and how also
one of the participants told
his partner's birthday is on tomorrow (10th of July)
....................................
din't cry this time because I can't
reached home straight open those funny shows to cheer myself
12am, 10th of July
again... everything was smooth before that
BUT
phone "bit-ed" this time
it's a birthday reminder
.......................................
I knew that I should delete his contact info
since long time ago
complicated
I'm not only in an emo-mood
but also angry
I'm angry on myself
I don't know and don't understand
why am I still concern about
will he cares about din't receive any gifts from me??
will he cares about din't receive any wishes from me??
will he cares about din't celebrate this year's birthday with each others?
will he still cares?? or start to cares?? or never ever wanna cares??
鬼说: “21 世纪少年最高生存原则 - 爱是/不自夸/不张狂/不做害羞的事”
